They Came From Beyond Space

Mind to Mouth: TCFBS
Here...we...go...

We start in a rural area. Following a woman as she gets in her car and drives down a road, an alien noise whistling throughout. She meets an older man and asks if he knows what it is. He doesn't know.

We see a flying triangle in the sky. They dive to the side as it crashes to the ground.

Cut to a big satellite dish. A man in a bowler hat gets directors to go into a nearby building. Inside, we meet a Big Haired Lady, A Main Character Looking Fellow, and a Nerd. They discuss...things about space. A guy with Umbrella enters. He's the guy with the Bowler hat.

This scene is here to basically say everyone's names. I'm not writing them down. Umbrella Man revels they have knowledge of a mysterious crash and they want Main Character Looking Man to check it out. Score one for me.

Main Guy essentially says What good are meteors to me? I'm interested in life on other planets. Thanks for that character development to me. Just beware of the Marsian Luthors. Umbrella man hints that it may be a space crash.

Cut to Main Guy being told by his doctor he can't go. He recently had a car accident that required a metal plate in his skull. We immediately cut back to the office where Umbrella man introduces a couple other doctors. Main guy walks in and says they'll have to take his Assistant, Big Hair.

When asked why he's so excited, Umbrella man states, "Have you ever know meteors to land in formation?"

This leads us back to the doctor's office where Main Guy is trying to power play with his Doc to go. Doc says no. So Main Guy walks back to his office. Big Hair and he talk about how much they lose by him not going. He reassures her that she can do the job correctly, kisses her forehead. Cue the sexual harassment...oh wait, guess they're a couple.

Cut to the Meteor sight. Doctor Fodder is looking at something. Umbrella Man and Big Hair arrive. They babble movie science.

Back at the other place, Nerd and Main Guy talk. Nerd did some math and found an answer to qhere the meteors are from. The Moon. Main Guy grabs a phone.

Back at the sight, they feel the meteors and babble more movie science befor one of them starts GLOWING. Big Hair screams as it pulls her down briefly into the stone.
She then lifts her head having been "taken over" by whatever was in the rock. We get a tradionally warbled alien voice as the New Big Hair tells the other rocks it's okay to take over the others safely.

They do so. Apparently human brains are suitable to their needs. That's a first. Usually the alien is required to talk about the stupidity of humans . Thank goodness there were just enough scientists so that every rock got a body and not one too many.

Being the leader, Big Hair goes to the local bank and demands a note for 1 million pounds (Yay, we're British!). She claims to have security. Opens up a bag to reveal...oops, guess there was an extra rock. Bank President joins the ranks.

Back at...Main Guy's place...he's still trying to get through. Suddenly, Umbrella
Man returns. States that he talked to MG's doc to approve his travel. So Nerd and MG get ready to go. Back in Umbrella Alien's car, a couple rocks await our heros. Nerd gets grabbed in amusing close-up fasion. Main Character's metal plate protects him. Nerd Alien punches him in the face and the aliens take off.

MG runs back inside to discover Nerd's pre-alien work was stolen. MG goes to see his boss. Apparently, there are many requistions going on for big cash. Buying things for building along with weapons. MG declares he's going there. When asked what to tell his doctor he replies "Tell him I got better."

Cut to him driving to the place. Stops to get directions from a blond lady. She asks why he's heading there. He gives the "I'm a scientist" line. She tells him if he gets bored he could always come back for a cup of tea...subtle.

Meanwhile, at the sight (located on a farm), people ignore MG as he arrives. He reaches the end of the road to find a soldier with a gun, orders suggesting that MG not be able to enter. We also learn the fence is electrofied.

So, MG goes to his car. Revs it up. Suggests the guards move before he throws it into gear. The guard loses this game of chicken and goes to get Big Hair.

MG sees a guy coming out of a nearby pond, wearing a swimsuit. Guard returns and Big Hair Alien arrives. "Why are you creating a distubance...the doctor told you not to come." The complete lack of emotion from her seems to tip him off to problems. He asks if he can help with the finding and she tells him to leave. We then see an overly dramatic close-up of the guard unholstering his gun.

Cut to MG and his swinging awesome car pulling into town. Big Hair and Umbrella Man are there, but don't see him. UM goes to do something and MG walks him down to ask what is going on. He still can't get answers. Mostly redundant. Another character starts following MG.

Our hero sneaks back to the farm, watching from a distance. Big Hair really gets around quickly as we see her leaving again. So Main Guy gets into his car and follows. Green Screen driving ensues until he cuts in front of her. She pulls an odd looking gun that lights up on the end. It incapictates him and we see a weird sprial effect.

Cut to later. The girl who was flirting with the hero apparently found him and took him back to the gas station. He asked her what road she found him on and leaves afterwards. Slightly jilting, but he smiles at her before leaving. So she picks up the phone to call someone.

Elsewhere, a guy with binoculars sees Hero driving. No clue who he is, but he stops the car. Introduces himself as "Stillwell" involved with internal affairs for Hero's company. Plenty of questions about all the spending going on. Detective gives some backstory and fills some blanks about how he has been watching the group since the start. He thinks he knows what is going on but has to talk to his boss before saying anything to MG.

So they go back to town so Detective can call his boss. Hero waits in the car when suddenly Detective jerks back in pain. Something spread across his face. He tumbles out of the phone booth. Falls to the ground. A Crowd gathers. A man breaks in saying he's a doctor. "I've never encountered something like this before." Detective's hands are covered in spots, as are his face. Suddenly, the doctor rears back in shock, the same spots on himself. He collapses. The crowd panics and runs.

MG sees Flirter going to her car and leaving while other people collapse from the weird freckle-ish attack.

We see a reporter talking about the incident. Gives some exposition on the "strange spots of blood" on the bodies that soon die, calling it "The Crimson Plague."

Inside, a house, our hero watches the report. Another man appears on screen announcing of isolating the town from others to avoid spreading the disease. With exposition given, Hero turns off the TV.

MG believes the plague is centered at the crash site. He tells this to a random character that enters. The man introduces himself as our departed Detective's boss.

DB won't give information, instead telling MG to go home. DB plays Mr. Mysterious, tells our hero to avoid the farm, and then leaves. MG watches out the window as other guy goes to a car and gets in. The driver was Flirter.

Not one for taking orders, MG drives on down to the gas station. He meets some new character. New guy says there has never been a girl there. Another man appears and they try to mug MG. He kicks one away but is caught in a Full Nelson by the bigger one. They tell him the girl "Never existed" and to leave before he stops existing.

We go to the farm where constuction is still going on. And, wouldn't you know it, MG pulls in. The Guard alerts him that they've been ordered to fire. They lay some warning rounds at his feet. So he leaves as the guard goes to the phone. That was...useless. New plan!

Cut to a darker time period (Not all the way night) and our hero is sneaking through the woods with binoculars. He sees fog in the distance. Water bubbles and geysers. A small space shuttle looking thing emerges. Takes off. We stay with this as he takes some while the shuttle launcher returns under the water. A bit overlong.

On TV, the reporter lets us know that the plague is spreading. Meanwhile, MG is working on papers. With exposition dropped we cut back to the farm. Okay, MG needs to learn that shoot to kill means shoot to kill. Quit tempting fate, daggone it.

Anyway, he sneaks to the highly electric fence. Tosses something at it...which shoots up sparks. Speaking of shoots, the guards open fire and our hero flees for safety, his car somehow not being damaged. Did I mention his car has no top? Not good...

So...later...he's using a rifle with scope. He is trying to take out the transformer. Gets it on the second shot and the guards unleash more bullets in his direction. Plans, MG. Do you know what they are?!

He retreats to another area and finishes off the transformer. KABOOM. Now he runs to the fence and...it's no longer electrified. Shocking...or not. He drops the gun and hurdles the chain link fence. Immediately dives into coverage as the guards go on alert since...well...a big explosion just happened.

It's dark in one shot, light in the other. He sprints after a few guard jeeps go by. Goes into a building. Looks around. Has to dive for coverage as a few workers come up an elevator.

After all his work, an alien taken friend arrives with one of their super light guns. This time, MG pounces and we get a realtively well-staged movie fight. Both men taking more abuse than they probably could in real like, but I liked it. It ends when MG BODYSLAMS the other guy THROUGH A TABLE. ECW! ECW!

Our heros hops into the elevator and takes it for a ride. After he reaches the bottom, it goes back up for another load, so he's left trying to find another hiding spot as guards step out. The guards spread out and head down hallways, managing to walk right past him. He sees someone he recognizes, but I don't. Anyway, MG goes to an iron door and works it open. Inside he sees a red light and the door shuts behind him. The music sounds like a demented Charles Shultz Peanuts theme.

He turns and see a dead man, apparently frozen. Turns again and sees more, including Flirter. The door pops open and it's Umbrella man who uses the Light Gun on him and instructs a guard to take him somewhere.

Our hero awakens. Sits up. Is in a dark room. Sneaks a look through a vented window to see people working. Tries to open his iron door from the wrong side (Fail). Tries a water fountain. It works. He doesn't drink. Notices that a light has been following his every step.

Umbrella Man appears and compliments him for his efforts, telling him to stay quiet in his cell and they'll release him after finishing their work. MG starts questioning things and is told that killing is not "their nature" unless forced to. That's good to know...

He asks about the bodies and is told they're in no danger. One last question. About the rocket. He asks how they built a 2nd one so quick. They didn't. The original returned while he was KO'd. He somehow calculated that it went to the room. I must really suck at math.

Turns out they're moving meteorites back to the moon to erase the plague. Also they're removing dead, diseased bodies to the moon to save humanity. MG has a hard time believing this, but he's in a cell, so who cares what he thinks. Takes him about 30 seconds to figure out how to escape. Advanced alien race my happy horse race.

Big Hair orders Umbrella Man to kill MG. Straight to the heart. Surprise, MG is gone. Panicked, UM opens the door. Guess who's hiding in the shadows? A quick fight scene where MG owns UM. "Some day you may thank me for this." This guy is freaking awesome.

He quickly outruns guards and ends up behind Big Hair in the main room. She has her own gun...but he doesn't care, spearing her to the ground and punching her in the face. HOLY CRAP!

He grabs her gun and sneaks to the side and watches another Alien, but the guy sense him. "You've seen too much and cannot be alive to tell." Guess who pulls the trigger first? This guy is unstoppable.

Hero takes Big Hair to the lift. Guards are rushing to the elevator room, but he's snuck behind it so they go down to the bottom level. He then simply walks out with her. Remember when I was joking about "not having a plan"? This guy doesn't need a plan. So, yeah, he takes a guard jeep and leaves with Big Hair (still KO'd).

He takes off towards the guard gate, crashes through. Triumphant music is much deserved. MG transfers them over to his car. Makes sure Big Hair can't escape and drops the exposition that he's taking her to a friend of his, the only one who would believe him. And with that, her head is shoved into hiding and he takes off in his awesome car.

Cut to the place. Wow, they didn't show the trip. This is much better than End of the World.

Inside, he chats with the friend. The friend states "Maybe these victims of the plague aren't really dead." He drops in hypothesis. Friend asks how he'd avoid being taken over. Asks about silver in the house. The only silver...Friend's Cricket Trophies. "Oh no! Not my trophies!"

Yes. His trophies. No one questions our hero. They're melted down and turned into a helmet. Sad looks from the friend throughout. They drop some movie science as to why silver would work. He admits he needs the friend to be the guinea pig, so Friend throws on the helmet and they go see Big Hair. She quickly tries to take over Friend...but fails.

They taker her out of the car, tie her up in the garage. We get shots of them working on things. A plastic gun looking thing aimed at her. Guess they're using her to figure things out. Apparently, they have a break through. Discovering a light or something that disturbs her or atleast picks up weird noises.

Cut to later and I'm a bit confused if not laughing. She's tied up and they enter with odd eye covering devices and ray guns of their own creation. They try them out. She screams. We fade out to MG looking sad.

Big Hair sits up. Cries and calls out for MG whose name is Curt. He deserves a name. They explain their movie science. They've figured out a way to detect the aliens and destroy them. She admits she can't remember much of anything. No clue about moon rockets. MG announces he and Friend are going armed and protected.

We get them talking over the infiltration. Looks like Big Hair is going along as well to get past early defenses. They do so and a guard rushes to a phone. The aliens sense trouble and close the gate coming towards the farm house.

She stops and backs up, tells MG she's going to talk to them. They don't buy it and hold her at gunpoint while another goes to check out her vehicle. Our heros sneak out the other side. Jump the guy when he goes around and blasts the other with their light gun. Big Hair and Friend just about take off without their helmets like complete idiots.

To the elevator they go. "Put on your helmets" Curt correctly orders. She has a football helmet...dear goodness.

Downstairs, we see a few other Alien People. A load of them get onto the rocket. Our heroes sneak in. Alerts stating to leave the launching area are heard. So, our heros SNEAK ON THE ROCKET. Door closes behind them.

"We've got to keep them from taking off." followed by "Stay here." Either way, MG goes up some spiral stairs, trying to open a door. But the rocket starts to shake. He tells the other two to get down. The rocket takes off...I'm not quite sure what's happening.

"They've gone into hyperdrive," we're told as the heroes get back up. They're on the way to the room. Now the door pops open and they see some rather nice human guns pointing at them.

Exposition. "We will land on the moon in 3 hours...and when we land, you will be taken to the master." The Master of the Moon. They plan on removing the plate from his head. We get a space shot of the moon...dear goodness, I'm having End of the World flashbacks...but it doesn't explode.

On the moon, we see that moon people wear silly robes. Big Hair makes a run for it, Friend knocks the gun away from UM, and Our Hero grabs the gun, pointing it at the Master of the Moon. He states he'll do what he has to in order to protect the World.

Moon Master states they don't want Earth because it's not advanced enough (there it is...). Moon Master drops a speech. Blah, blah, blah. Highest lifeform, blah, blah, blah took over bodies to survive. The plague was only to make people to "appear to die" so they could be taken to the moon, taken over, and go back to Earth to work.

Apparently, their mission is to build a ship large enough for all of them to return to their original planet so they can die there. Like an elephant's instincts I suppose.

They don't want to hurt anyone. They just want to go home. Then they shoot MG with a light gun. Nice. Friend takes off. Big Hair falls over him. Moon Master orders them to take our hero to the operating room. Because, I'm sure after your big speech, he wouldn't offer to help you leave his planet. Daggone...

The operating table is a star shaped thing. Doesn't look safe. They let him know that they'll replace his metal plate with an effective, but less resistant plate. How...nice?

Friend is moving around, waiting for his right time to attack. MG gets KO'd by knockout gas. Friend's bright idea is to shove some barrels on one guy, shoot another, and run around getting shot at. Although, admittingly, he's a pretty darn good fighter, himself. He frees others with their light gun and leads them to save our hero. Blow the door to the operating room. Power plays to get MG released. Wins.

Shockingly enough, MG offers to help if only asked. Tells them it isn't too late. If Moon Master releases his body, then he'll work to make sure Earth helps them build their ship to go home. So, a flashing white dot drifts away from Moon Master's body and the actual guy starts acting rather confused. With that, MG and Actual Guy shake hands and the movie ends.

Sudden enough, but the point was put across. I liked it.

RATING: 2.0 out of 5.0

It's okay. Far from great, but if you can ignore or accept the stupid it works out better.