Super Hybrid

SUPER HYBRID (AKA Shapeshifting Christine)

And here...we...go. We open with the highway. And omnimous soundtrack. Stallion Media Presents...

We're flying over a city now. A nice big city...A Stallion Media Production.

Cars are driving. And driving. We zoom in on one in particular. I'm sure it has nothing to do with anything. We continue to zoom to show.Well...not much really. The headlights come on. Then it turns into an alley and the headlights go off.

We get Red "Car Vision." Because all evil things see in Red. Also, humans glow red, but outlined brightly. Heat vision? I dunno.

Car pulls up as a couple guys leave a party. One guy is picking on another, accusing him of hitting on a man. The car transforms after they walk past into some sort of fast vehicle. One instantly decides
to steal it.

"Dude, I bet this is some kind of set-up!"
"Yeah, man. Some rich dude in need of insurance money..." Seriously?

Door shuts by itself. "Where's the ignition?!" And the door doesn't work.

"I told you we shouldn't have done this." There you go. Go out like a whiny so and so.

We zoom out and show some sort of black cloud overtaking them. One slaps a bloody hand against the windshield and then we see his face as he screams. The end of opening kill guys.

Car goes back to its original form and drives away. Keeps driving until pulling out in front of another vehicle and getting plowed. Police arrive. People in the other car are dead. We show the shapeshifting car...bleeding? Anyway, cut to a district garage for the City of Chicago.

"Sorry man, but we're remodeling." The guy hauling our mutant car begs to let the car in so he can get home to his pregnant wife. So they take the car in.

Cut inside to sex appeal. Our main female in bra and panties before we cut to her fully dressed and looking for her locket. Her weight lifting significant other doesn't know. "What's the big hurry?" "Some of us have a job." He drops the exposition that the place she works doesn't get cell phone reception. Sigh.

She hops on her motorcycle and goes to her job. Cutting to the job we find The Boss who has a picture of himself as a soldier. He gives orders to the secretary and they share snide remarks.

Nice Mechanic is looking over the shapeshifting car. It repaired itself. Guess it sucks at stealth. He starts to walk away and hears something. Turns to see the car is gone...but it actually just drove a few feet forward. he assumes the parking brake wasn't set and goes to do so. Bu the car shuts its door on his leg. I guess it likes playing with its food. Then it runs him down. Knocking him into some water.

Elsewhere, a worker tries to make a cell call, but can't. Thanks for reiterating that, movie. The other workers tease at the boss who is looking for the dead guy. They send their cliche Stoner to look for the dead guy. The younger cell phone owner is named Bobby and is scolded for studying on the job. The other guy seems to be someone here just to fill body count later.

So, Main Girl arrives. Boss tells her "You're almost late." And then gives us the information that Bobby is her Nephew. She chats with the secretary who seems obsessed with gambling. Like that matters since she's bodycount.

Meanwhile, Stoner Cliche is looking for Hector. Walks past the car and it throws on its lights. He assumes it's the dead guy and opens the door...the door starts to slowly shut...and...It's Bobby shutting the door on him. Ha Ha, Jump scare.

Big Boss doesn't like the phone being used for personal use. Sexually harasses the secretary.  Boss trashes Main Girl's beau. He seems to be a tough love guy.

They shut the front area off as music tells us that it's a bad idea. Main Girl and BodyCount guy discuss the car. Then go to it where Bobby and Stoner are located. "It doesn't feel...metallic."

We keep cutting to car vision. They comment on how the car seems like a copy of another vehicle made into a model. Main Girl and Bobby put their ears to the car and we cut inside to see stuff moving around. Swishing. Bodycount guy goes to pop the hood. They decide to put it on a lift. Main Girl goes to find Stoner and Dead Guy as the others head up to prepare the lift.

Stoner is wandering around...aimlessly. Discovers the car has moved. Left some ShapeShifting blood. He turns and the car is now something else. The door opens. Of course he'll get in. But before he does,
Main Girl shouts for him and he smacks his head on the roof. She goes to talk to him, but is knocked away by the car, which drags him into it in order to fulfill its munchies.

She starts bashing on the windshield as he screams in pain and they do the black fog around him. The car backs up and runs into her. She rolls over the top but isn't too hurt.

Cut to everyone around her."Let's show hands...who thinks Hector and Al were killed by a man eating car."
We then drop information about "Lake Forest" when Main Girl had a 'rough time' full of panic attacks. Nice to cast doubt on her.

Big Boss wants to know what she did with the car. Cue car. But now it's a station wagon because...this car sucks. I don't know. Bodycount guy: "Does anyone hear a car engine?"

The car doesn't have a handle. Big Boss is frustrated about this. Feels the car and is confused like the others. She has him listen to the engine. He's starting to get creeped out.

BodyCount goes to pop the hood but instead hurts the thing. The hood pops and a CGI...thing screeches at them. I guess we can drop the Lake Forest thing, now. So they flee and the car chases.

Eventually, they're behind two cars and it keeps ramming the cars to get to them. Can't do it. Big Boss: "Okay you were right, get a medal." They actually say, "It changes...like a shapeshifter."

"Like one of those robots from outer space?!" Had to pause to laugh at that one.

"Where did it come from and what the hell is it doing in my garage?" Wrong questions. The question is "How do we escape without dying." Anyway, study kid studied a specific octopus that would hide itself.
But since it also appeared to be an insect, "Maybe it's some sort of Hybrid."

This babbled explanation is rather ridiculous. Apparently, this thing could have been evolving for millions of years from resembling a cave that eats people to car...that...eats people. This is the latest step in the evolution.

The Big Boss decides to capture it. That way they could show it off and get a bigtime money reward for discovering it. Main Girl decides this is rather insane. Study Boy and BodyCount Guy are in. So they go to barricade the exit for the trap while Main Girl watches the car to see if it shapeshifts.

Main Girl sneaks around. Feeling cars. Trying to avoid the evil car. Slips in car blood. It has a necklace in it. She uses the intercom and tells the secretary to call the police. Too bad Big Boss has already been there to "explain" the situation. So, she goes to flee upstairs.

But the door is locked, solidly shut. One of those. She rus down to the barricade. "The door, up on main, it's welded shut." Thanks. The Big Boss claims "to keep the crack heads out."

Bodycount Guy says he's more of a follower than a leader. Good to know. You're still going to die. They bring up the car on an elevator. It transforms into a truck and rams through the gate trapping it.

The secretary comes out to see what's going on and sees a car pulling up a ramp. "Hey! It's me!" And the thing charges. So she pops off her high heels and tries to out run a vehicle. Is smart enough to run behind a divider. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!" She makes a break for the office. Shuts the door. I...uh...that's dumb.

It charges ahead, crashes through the door. She's actually not in front of the door, so that's a plus, but she runs into her boss'office. Nowhere else to go. Main Girl pulls up on her motorcycle and Secretary dives out a window just as the car destroys the office. Interesting.

So, Truck chases Secretary. You'd think it'd turn into a fast one but maybe its speed is constant. I don't really know. This chase goes on. Truck ramming into cars.

Bodycount Guy finds his cajones and goes to distract the thing. But it...screeches? I don't know. He holds his ears and it lines him up. He overcomes it in time to run. The motorcycle hits the deck. The car goes up with a wheel on the wall and runs over Bodycount Guy...while also driving into an electricity circuit. So it gets a shock and we see the "true" creature while it's electrocuted.

Lights come back on. BodyCount is BodyCount. Car is gone. Movie has over 40 minutes left. The key to the door is on Big Boss's no longer existing desk. "There is no way out, Bobby" Thanks Big Boss.

Main Girl looks down at the water thing. Then walks a few feet and sees car blood. The soundtrack tells us that this is a bad thing. "I had Al to weld it shut two days ago to stop..." thieves. "The EMERGENCY EXIT?!"

Big Boss says they should stick to the plan. "If it can bleed, it can die." Yes, I've heard many versions of that line. So we set up the next Scooby Doo trap to kill the car. Big Boss is very resistent towards Main Girl taking charge. "You're not running a platoon...you're just a bully." Aww, poor Big Boss.

"If you're not in charge, how come everyone is following you?!" So, he's obsessed with being in control. Makes sense I suppose. Anyway, some car blood. How much does this thing have, anyway? The busted up
truck drives around slowly. I guess regaining its wits to change again. It pulls into a spot and CGI's into something new. A cloaked car...okay, seriously. If this thing can replicate cover, why does it need to just be a car? Why wouldn't it turn into barrels or something they wouldn't expect.

Big Boss has a shotgun, "I feel better already." They're setting up a tiger trap. Pit with sharp sticks. That's apparently the plan here. Meanwhile, Car drives forward which doesn't seem helpful to its hiding...but then we reveal it's listening in.

The humans go to the water pit. Oh good, they can discover dead body and...Main Girl does. "At least now, we know for sure." Thanks Big Boss. So we get intercut shots of them setting up their trap as the
soundtrack plays in the background.

Cloaked car is creeping down to the chain put up to stop it until things are ready. Meanwhile, the power starts going out as backup batteries lose juice. Car slowly moves, letting the chain go overtop of it. It almost gets by the set-up to warn against it, but hits a spike trap and speeds up a little, giving the warning.

Suddenly, we're zooming around but not in car vision. What was that about? Anyway, back on the car. It finds itself at another tiny chain. Goes slow. Reuses footage. Shows it learned from the last incident. Why can't this thing turn into a tank? Has it never seen a tank?

The cloak falls off which make no freaking sense. It's supposed to be part of the creature...I don't even know anymore. Secretary is sent to get bottles to put explosives in. Can't find any so she has to go to the level that has the car on it

Secretary tries to avoid the car. Main Girl has hotwired a police vehicle. Secretary returns with the beer bottles and a lighter. StudyBoy almost falls off a ladder. They tie off a tarp as part of their trap.

Mutating car changes again. Great job on using the last version to accomplish absolutely nothing. Is this thing supposed to be smart or not? I really don't know. Main Girl goes to lure it out with her motorcycle.

And the thing is a truck again. A new truck, but still a truck. So we get a chase. StudyBoy leaves the safe spot since he's related to Main Girl and wants to be stupid and die. Well, probably not, but either way, he's felt the need to leave safety.

Main Girl pauses and looks around. Plenty of places for the car to hide due to renovations. It rams another car into her. The cycle gets knocked over and falls on to the pit. Big Boss instantly goes to take control to reassure Secretary.

Main Girl is about to get ran down when StudyBoy shows up and hits the evil truck with a Molotov cocktail. He also has a bike so they take off. Secretary wants to help, so she lights her own Molotov.

But she's just plain useless. I mean, seriously. It bounces off the truck, lands at her feet, she catches on fire, freaks out, backs up and plummets onto the spikes. Thanks for coming. The car didn't even really kill you.

Meanwhile, Main Girl and Study Guy realize the thing can't climb steps.

Cut to Big Boss. I have no clue where his shotgun went. He informs the others about Secretary. Tries to stay his typical tough guy stuff. Study Guy takes it hard. Goes to the car they need to move but somehow doesn't notice it feels weird and different like the monster, so he's dead. Thanks for coming, Bobby.

Main Girl and Big Boss are all that's left. He's trying to stay rational, "It must have got hungry again." Wrong thing to say. She punches him. Not hard enough to knock him down, but enough that he apologizes. "I GOT HIM THIS JOB." So she's upset. He reminds her they need to stick to the plan.

Meanwhile, outside, a hobo with a shopping cart walks by with his dog. Uh...thanks?

The hunt is on. Which makes Big Boss kind of happy. "This reminds me of the good old times." They bicker a bit.

"I'm just trying to get us out of here alive."
"You better hurry up, there aren't many of us left." Nice one, Boss.

They find blood. How much has this thing bled? Doesn't seem to consider the idea it might be leading them into a trap. Boss tries to make conversation. Let's her know he turned down her promotion. "I try to give you a compliment and you threaten to blow my head off that's not nice." Maybe it's your tone, Boss. He shows her how to use the shotgun. I think his plot usefulness is almost through.

The car tries to run her over, but she manages to hold on to the front bummer. Big Boss uses himself as bait to lure it to the trap. She lets got, but it reaches out and drags her with it. It hits the spikes. She lands on it, falls into water.

The thing transforms into its regular self. Starts lashing out like crazy. Almost knocks Big Boss off his perch. He does, however, drop the gun. Main Girl takes it. Shoots the monster. It roars.

She looks up and sees a teetering car from earlier. Shoots it. It explodes or something and falls down the shaft, landing on the monster and forcing the rest of the impalement.

Main Girl gets up and starts to climb, looking back once to confirm death. Goes to find Big Boss.She climbs to the top and looks around. Boss pulls himself up. "Guess it's 50/50, huh?" "How do we get out of here?" Much better question, Main Girl. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out the key. Very nice and evil.

They open the door and Main Girl's guy is there. She throws him the keys to his long ago destroyed car and walks away. She takes out a locket that has Study Guy Bobby's photo in it. Watches a bunch of cars drive by.

Big Boss on the inside takes out his cell phone. "Channel 1 News?" Suddenly three or four car lights come on. Oh, whatever movie. He gives the "Ooooh crap" look and we cut outside to Main Girl walking
away as credits show up on screen

THE END.
Circle C = TADORA Film Produktions GarbH & Co. KG

Score: 2 out of 5. It's a silly modern day Christine attempt that's kind of blah for the most part. Enjoyable moments from Oded Fehr as the plot preserving jerk boss but it's a paint-by-numbers film.